• gitasuliawan

Breaking Free

Nothing is forever, I stumbled upon this term like a month ago.


Got so busy earlier juggling among work-study-lecturing, until one night I can't sleep and decided to do clothes mix and match. When I reflected into the mirror, I saw my self and consciously wondering "What the heck! I am alive". It's sometimes happened to people, you know that moment when you question your existence and the purpose.


But I don't know it hits me hard, I can't stop thinking about it. Religiously I'm not such a devoted person, and suddenly I'm afraid of dying.


Those routines maybe unconsciously lead me mentally weak, and my soul is starving, God misses me so then it calls me with His light. Suddenly not long after that, I got GERD, and days after an airplane crash just 13 minutes after it flew. My high school senior is on that plane, the closure brought more condolences. Moreover, it broke me, I realize it could be me, and God possibly calls you to go back to your forever home in anytime.


God is Good then I feel that I am too much world oriented. For once in my life, I stumbled and promise my self to learn to be a good person. My anxiety problem resulted from a GERD, I can't only think that this is entirely health issue, but I know I'm scared of what's beyond me.


I did self-healing within the religious way, I go pray when it times, and I surrender to God for what I've been and I will though. It gives so much JOY and PEACEFUL MINDSET.


As a Muslim, I found it right that my religion teaches us about peace. I found peace within certain conditions, I know it hard to believe, but I'm learning to live my life modestly. For the moment I struggle to fight my mindset for being too sensitive to a dead issue, I gladly thank God and my self for breaking free.


Within this post, whatever you believe in. I just wanna share this so you consider to adjust how you live your life and start to make it more meaningful. Trust me it feels good.

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© 2020 by Gita Suliawan