What’s wrong with become ambitious or enthusiast as a woman?
I know you’ve got tons of things in your mind already, but trust me each of you were prominent with old-fashioned advice such as “Don’t be too smart or success, because it’s going hard for you to find a husband (partner)”. This sort of stuff is haunting women and embossed the modesty of our progress as we are grown.
A lot of study findings that women are likely to be much placing their self in modesty when it comes to their successes and is more prone to underestimate their skills and abilities still that women and ambition resemble linked unlikely when it goes along with men. Sheryl Sandberg wrote in her book Lean In; "She's very ambitious" is not a compliment in our culture. Both are differently describing how women are going through internal and external backlash for being enthusiastic with her life.
I stumbled, I can’t agree for more that both women and men were addressing this adjective to a woman with a bias meaning whether they are applauding, sarcastically judging for being off limit as women, or even in between. I still clearly remember, back in high school and it just one month away from the Ujian Akhir Nasional (UAN), I sat in my classroom with one of my classmates, and he told me to lose and enjoy myself a bit. I don’t know what’s wrong with how I lived my life back then, what I’m sure of is I’m a go-getter for something that I want. I’m the top rank in my class and completely active in extracurriculars and competitions. By writing those, I’m sure I am already portraying myself as Little Miss Perfect, and you wonder why my friend said so.
At the same point, I also think about why being ambitious sounds harmful as it comes naturally. I ran a quick poll about labeled as an ambitious person is a compliment or offended act, 59% of the answers from 122 people assumed that this an offend while the rest remain not. The funny fact about this we can see the ugly truth of being called ambitious because this result also spots how the younger society using zealous as an insult.
This kind of advice or insult is both undeniably impacting the way women possible to become something. Due to my discussion with fellow conference mate, this might be not that applied in modern and well-educated society, where skills are judged compare to gender or looks, but the idea of “The Internship” movie which perfectly starred by Anne Hathaway is something else. Hathaway’s portrayed a young woman whose strive will as the Founder and CEO of a Fashion Startup, and along the plot almost ruining her marriage due to her busy activities. Despite the described storyline that contained a backlash, we need to appreciate how this movie featured that nothing needs to be sacrificed for a woman to stay on company top position, or in general pursuing her dreams.
Unconsciously, even we as a woman are judging a well-strived woman as a Bitch, due to her capability that probably makes her seems born with a silver spoon on her mouth, or simply it’s just her luck, and we labeled her as an Ambitchious person. Bear in mind that we can’t judge someone by the journey we know nothing. Ambitious in this case is a very reluctant idea for both women and men.
We’re all having our right to be one step ahead, and discourage of what the society manifesto of being ambitious is really normal. What’s been wrong all this time is making a hard time for our own not to grow, and if any men are not liking you for being too good, it’s not you, it’s him. That is their problem, and they might feel they not equally will be able to show their manhood over you in our society.
Just like so many times we were wrong about feminism, that condition is the part of lousy masculinity and its cliché with power. All genders are having equal right to bring the best of them, which included being ambitious in a good way.
So, don’t let the circumstances or label make you less Ambitchious! I